Unplugging the SIL

I am the father of one delightful daughter and 4 great sons. My daughter is the oldest and recently married. She is the first in the family to get married. At first I was excited to be gaining another son, but now after 9 months of having him in the family, I don't know what to think. We are a close knit family. Dinner time isn't just about eating, it's about spending time together. We sometimes sit around the table for an hour after everyone has finished eating because we're still talking. The SIL, however, excuses himself (doesn't ask to be excused, just says "excuse me, please"), then goes into the living room to play on his phone. Even when we move into the living room to be with him, he stays engaged with his phone. It's as if he's in his own world--just him and his phone. That's just one issue. Our family loves to actively play together--frisbee, throwing the football around, backyard baseball, you get the idea. He never joins us even when we invite him to play with us. He simply says "no" (not even "no thanks") and keeps playing with his phone. We're a fishing, camping, hiking family and now that my daughter is married, she no longer joins us because her husband isn't interested in doing those things. BTW, he's the same way when we go to their house. We talk while he plays with his phone or goes in the other room to be on the computer. My daughter says she loves him and I'm certainly not trying to break up their marriage, but I'm sad that I haven't gained another son--I've gained an odd ball. I've resigned myself (sadly) to the fact that my SIL will never be one of us, but the other day my youngest son said to me, "Dad, what are we going to do if sis's future kids turn out like their dad?!" Help!

Wow. Talk about a lame son-in-law. Not only is he a party pooper for you, but a party pooper for his own family too.

When we got this question in, my very first thought was "Buy a cell-phone jammer--they're 60 bucks on some websites (against the FTC laws in the U.S.) and change the password on your wireless internet. Also make sure the neighbors have their wireless secured. Then package your TV and gaming consoles up in bubble wrap and live an Amish lifestyle whenever he comes."

If that doesn't work, then more desperate measures are in order, including (but not limited to) engaging cell-phone gnomes to steal his phone and drop it in the toilet (your own grandchildren are not a good idea because they'll blab at breakfast something like "Hee hee! Gampa paid me a nickel to fwush you fone down da toiwet!" which will just backfire on you and make everything worse--always employ someone else's grandchildren).

You can tell I've put some thought into this.

Sometimes it just takes realizing how fun real life is in order to get people to put the phone/personal computer/gaming console down. Sometimes it helps to cross onto their turf and play a game of "Words with Friends" with them. Either way, don't lose hope. Just plan weekends full of real fun activities and eventually the allure of spending time with family (or your daughter's impetus to actually do something) will get him off the 'droid. And I guarantee that this experience will be great for your other kids when they go to choose a spouse. And as they look at their own behaviors. Count the silver lining.

As for dinner--a good dessert is all it usually takes to keep someone there all the way through to the end.

Otherwise there's always the jammer.