I was out hiking last week with a friend and we got to talking about the joys of aging. Having had to put her father in a care center for a few years before his passing, she came to learn firsthand that the patients who get the best care are the patients who have family and friends coming in to visit regularly, they are the ones who wear clean clothes, are shaved and have their hair clean and combed.
Few of us over the age of 50 don't sometimes worry about needing full-time care in our future. My friend is being proactive about it. Every time she sees her kids, she tells them that when the time comes to put her in a "home" she'd like it to be close enough that they can come visit daily. She tells them they won't need to stay long--but every day she'd like someone to brush her hair, put on a swipe of lipstick and make sure her clothes are clean.
I say good for her...she's not waiting until the day comes, but is speaking her mind now while she still can. She's not asking for much and is even stocking up on her favorite lipstick color/brand so that when/if the day comes that she can't take care of herself, it will be easier for her kids and ILs to carry out her wishes.
What do you need to share with your children and their spouses now about what you'd like done in your future when you might not be able to take care of yourself? If you are the child/IL, how could bring up that discussion now instead of later?
Are you a mother-in-law scratching her head over how...and why!...your most amazing child chose their spouse? Do you wonder where you went wrong in their upbringing? OR, are you a daughter/son-in-law trying to figure out how your delightful and much loved spouse could have been raised by that battle ax--er, your mother-in-law. Ask the experts how to handle the each other without tearing the family apart in the process.
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