Summer is almost here and hopefully all of you have some fun vacation plans in the works. For us, we will be on the road in 12 days heading across the country. We'll spend 5 weeks away from home meeting Alvie's fiance, celebrating a grandson's 1st birthday, visiting Stena and her brood as well as visiting dear friends from our years in Alaska along the way. We had hoped to make the trip in our RV, but rising gas prices changed our plans. Instead, we'll be driving our very fuel efficient Toyota and trying to avoid picking up hotel bedbugs along the way. We'll also be staying in our sons' homes--which leads to the question:
What can you do to be the perfect houseguest?
1. A small gift shows your appreciation for being invited to spend some time in someone's home. You can arrive bearing a gift or share a gift at any point during your visit. One advantage of sharing something after you've been there for a few days is that you might discover something your hosts could really need--that way they would think of you every time they used it and remember your time spent together.
2. Let them lead the activities. If they are of the "early to bed and early to rise" philosophy whereas you are a night owl who likes to sleep late--or vice versa--it's you that needs to change while you are in their home. Don't put added pressure on your ILs by demanding a quiet house in the morning and don't you be the one to wake up the whole house with your early rising. And just because you do things one way (and raised your child doing that very thing), it doesn't mean said child has continued in that tradition. Don't force your way of doing things in someone else's house. And don't expect to be entertained.
3. Do offer to help with chores around the house. Meals have to be made, dishes washed, laundry done...so ask how you can help. Getting the answer "Oh, that's ok, you're on vacation so just relax" can mean a couple of things: Either they aren't comfortable accepting your offer in which case find something small you can do that shows you really do want to help while you are there (take the trash out, sweep a floor, make a salad for dinner) OR it can mean that they really don't want your help because they can't trust you to put the clean dishes where they belong, fold the towels the right way or they don't want to hear your comments about how you do things and how they really ought to do the same. Look at yourself and decide which it is and then do whatever to takes to be useful during your stay.
4. Take everyone out to dinner or offer to make dinner (including buying the groceries and cleaning up the kitchen when you're done).
5. Always clean up after yourself. Bus your own dishes after meals, clean the bathroom sink, wipe down shower doors, wipe your feet when you come into the house, hang up your coat. Don't make extra work for your family and friends. The more you do for yourself, the more time they will have to visit with you.
6. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. You might think you're saying something helpful, but it might not be received that way. Only offer advice when you're asked. Look for the best in everything and everyone; smile, smile, smile: and if you are staying with family, say "I love you" often--and mean it.
7. Strip your bed on the last day of your visit. Offer to run the sheeps through the laundry before you go. You want your hosts to say good-bye with happy memories of your visit running through their minds, not a "to-do" chore list of what it will take to get their home back to normal again.
8. Send a thank you note. Some people think thank you notes are a thing of the past, but I think it's a great way to share favorite memories of your visit and to truly express gratitude for all they did for you during your visit. And really, who doesn't love to get real mail for a change.
Who is the best houseguest you've ever had and what made their visit wonderful?
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