As I read Stena's very insightful answer to last week's question, I was reminded to something that happened last summer when we (my DH, youngest son and I) were headed back east to meet my first grandson...Stena's first son.
She and my son live in small apartment--2 rooms, a kitchen and a bathroom. With the baby's arrival, their "living room" became the baby's bedroom. We are cheap travlers--and with the arrival of grandson #2 just weeks later, we had another cross-country trip to make the next month which put us in a cheaper-than-ever mindset. Knowing they had an air matress, our plans were to stay at their apartment...we didn't ask permission, we just announced our plans.
About a week before we flew out, our son called us and suggested that we might want to consider staying at a near-by hotel. He said it was very close to their apartment and it would be easy for us to get back and forth. He explained that their apartment was small and the baby might wake us at night. Well, staying in a hotel just wasn't in our plans/budget so I told my dear son that we'd look into it, but that we'd like to try a few nights at their apartment first. We came, we stayed and we had a great time (DH, youngest son and I). However, I'm not sure how easy it was for Stena and son to have us there. The apartment is very small and while we tried not to be underfoot, I now wonder how stressful it might have been on the new parents to share their time and their space with us for a week.
Was I like the MIL in last week's letter--announcing my intentions and then not listening when my son tried to suggest something different? Did my DIL try to do exactly what she suggested to the letter writer (that is, ask her husband to step up and say something to his mother)? Did my son step up and try to make the situation easier for his wife only to have his mother (me) ignore his wishes?
Was I guilty of being a pushy MIL? Probably. Will I be better at listening to my son's suggestions in the future? Only time will tell.
When have you been guily of being a pushing MIL?
Are you a mother-in-law scratching her head over how...and why!...your most amazing child chose their spouse? Do you wonder where you went wrong in their upbringing? OR, are you a daughter/son-in-law trying to figure out how your delightful and much loved spouse could have been raised by that battle ax--er, your mother-in-law. Ask the experts how to handle the each other without tearing the family apart in the process.
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