There was a wedding this morning that had most of the world watching. I don't know about you, but I wish this young couple all the best with much happiness in the years to come. Marriage doesn't always equate into "living happily ever after"--even when you marry your Prince Charming. Lasting marriages take work and determination to reach "happily ever after."
Marriage isn't just about the couple. It's also about forming new relationships with your spouse's family--their fathers, mothers, siblings, and for some, their grandparents.
What advice would I give Kate on her wedding day if asked? I would probably share the same advice I got from married, widowed and divorced women-friends when I married Leo 27 years ago...
*Decide before you leave on vacation whether side trips to interesting spots seen along the way are permitted or whether you are going to drive straight through.
*Have some time and some things that are for you alone--but not a secret from your husband.*If your husband turns out to be a slob (leaves clothes where they drop, smears putter butter on the counter, and leaves the toilet seat up), don't throw a fit, don't clean up his messes if that only makes you mad enough to spit, and try not to give his bum a kick. Only do things for him because you love him and want to make his life better.
*Make your time count. Don't put off doing things because you are too busy or a little short on cash. Do it when the opportunity is there. It may not come your way again.
*Don't raise your voice--that makes little molehills into mountains.
*Keep dating. Carve out time in your busy schedules for regular dates and don't let other things get in the way.
*Tell him every day that you love him. It's been said that "marriage is the cure for love and love is the cure for marriage."
*Stop...and have a sense of humor.
*Don't try to change Leo. Take him as he is and love him. Concentrate on his good qualities.
*Keep your mouth shut and smiling...instead of open and flapping.
*A soft answer turneth away wrath.
*Don't ever use his toothbrush or razor.
*Develop interests that you can enjoy together--cooking, hiking, reading--and then do them TOGETHER.
*Life and time go by fast, so enjoy each other every minute. Don't waste time bickering (even so, it is fun making up!)
*Start locking your bedroom door now so the kids will never wonder why your bedroom door is locked when you two are in there together.
So why, you ask, am I offering a new bride marriage advice on a blog about IL relationships? Because I believe that when your husband's family sees how much you love and appreciate him, they in turn love and appreciate you. They will see that you really are doing your best to bring happiness and joy into his life and that his best interests are priorities for you. And, just as importantly, when you truly love and appreciate things about your husband, you should be able to recognize that he is who he is because of the influences of his family. I would hope that would help you love them in new and more meaningful ways.
Just my 2 cents worth.
What advice would you give Kate on her wedding day?
No comments:
Post a Comment